So, this is my left wrist and, as you can see I covered it with a piece of cloth. The reason is pretty easy but let me explain the situation.
I’m usually a very cheerful girl, I like to talk, to chit-chat with friends and especially I love to laugh. Alot. But, sadly, I tend to get depressed very easly. It really needs a little to bring me down. Due to this I’ve thought several times that, maybe, self harm was a possible solution to stop feeling so much pain inside. Though, everytime, I managed to fight this insane idea, on Monday night I failed.
I couldn’t fight against it anymore. I don’t even know how, I wasn’t particulary depressed or else but, suddenly, I felt so much pain, so much sadness…it hurt badly. My right hand moved without even thinking. I scratched my nails on my left wrist, I did it as hard as I could, I tried to make it as much painful as possible. And while doing it I cried.
My actions didn’t left any visible scars, no blood, nothing. At least nothing that can be seen, but in me I know, I know I failed.
I failed and I’m scared, because there’s no one ready to help me, because I feel I could do it again.
That’s why today, after thinking about this closely, I decided to wear this cloth.
To remeber my weakness.
To remember I failed.
To remember not to give up on myself again.
This time I didn’t leave scars, but my life is yet to be finished.